Love and Forgiveness

Love
There are so many shades of love.
The love we feel for our parents, the love we feel for our closest family members, for all family members.
The love we feel for people we like, for people that touch our heart.
The love that makes us cry simply because it is so rich of emotions.
The love between friends, between closest friends.
The love between a man and a woman.
The love at first sight.
The love that is fresh and new and whose future remains somehow unknown.
The love that grows by time, the love that comes with trust.
All those shades of love feel different, you can feel some of them at the same time and if you are very lucky you can feel them all.
But what is above that? Whats about the one who created all those shades of love? The one who created in us the ability to feel and to give all those shades of love?
Allah is the ever loving, the continuously loving.
Allahs love is above all the love he created, because every shade of love we feel in this live is just a very very small part of the love he has.
You have never tasted the sweetness of this life until you have loved Allah!
You have never seen the real beauty of love until you have seen the love of Allah!

I once attended a lecture back home in Germany when our imam talked about the love to Allah. We must love Allah more than everything in this world simply because he is exalted over everything in this world, he created this world!
And if your love to Allah is greater than every other love you feel, if one of these loves let you down or falls apart, there is always the love to Allah that is so much greater than the loss you just suffered from.
Some people say that they cannot live without their partner/husband/wife.
But if you say that and really meant it, it means that you love that particular person more than you love Allah!
Of course you can be without that person, you can be without that persons love because the only thing important in this life is to believe in and to love Allah alone!
That being said, it is only natural that we want to love and be loved by people, that we need to be around people we care for and that care for us as well.
And the most beautyful way to love a person, is to love her/him for the sake of Allah.
When you love for Allah, you love that person desspite all his defaults. You will love that person for the sake of Allah so that Allah may love you too.
When u love for the sake of Allah, it will be so much easier to apply beautyful charactertraits we should always strive for.
Allah is forgiving, not a forgiver but the forgiving, continuously forgiving!!! When you forgive a person for the sake of Allah, Allah will forgive you too and if you love a person for the sake of Allah, Allah will love you as well!
In all the lectures I have heared about that topic it has been said that loving a person for the sake of Allah is different than the love a husband may feel for his wife and vice versa. And I must say I disagree with that.
I believe that there can be physical love as well as spiritual love between a couple and in fact I believe that there should be those two types of love inorder to make the union of the couple strong and complete.



When Allah created us he knew that we would sin, we were created as human beings, not as angels who never sin. What makes us good humans and loved by Allah is not the fact that we don't sin, what makes us good and loved by Allah is the fact that after commiting a sin we return to Allah and repent to him alone and ask him for guidance.
Prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him said: "the worst of the worst of the worst people are those who think they commited so many sins that Allah cannot forgive them!" Because he can, he can forgive everything because he is the all-mercyful, the all-forgiving!
Sometimes we cannot imagine how Allah could forgive our sins, but that is only natural since we don't have the merci Allah has, we cannot even imagine how merciful Allah is. So it is only natural that we cannot understand the extend of his mercy, but that does not meant that it doesn't exist!



Once I met a lady who told me that she would like to wear hijab but she was ashamed and affraid she would fail a second time. She had been wearing hijab some years before but struggled so much that she took it of. And now she was so a shamed about that and said she could never forgive herself. So maybe she could never forgive herself, but Allah surely already forgave her long time ago. because what is her mercy on her self compared to the mercy of Allah, the most mercyful?

Its getting quite windy down here...

Last night I woke up at 2:00 in the morning because there was a storm going on. I got up to look out of the window and was quite impressed, trees were bowing and my quite little lake made huge waves.. I thought it will go aways and went back to bed..
Sometime later, I was still laying in my bed unable to sleep since it was so loud outside, something in the hall of my building crashed and being impressed turned into being scared!
I was really scared that my window would crash too!

Again sometime later I heared voices outside, I wondered who was so crazy to go out at that weather and looked out the window to check them out.
And what my eyes see?
hehehehee, oh my god, just so crazy!
we have a guy living in the building who is pretty attached to gothics, means he always wears long black coats (just like me hehehhe), has long hair and seems to like the dark side of life.
So, anyways, there he is, at 3:00 in the morning, standing on the gras with his long hair and coat flying around him like crazy since there is a huge storm going on. he is with his friend who is TAKING PICTURES of the guy in the storm!!!
how crazy is that? he could be hit by a falling tree or whatever was flying around but he obviously wanted to get some nice pictures done.. hheheeee

So, I fell asleep at 4:00 and my window didn't crash, al hamdoulilah!

Today in the morning i found out that it was a girl called xynthia who coused all that trouble.. she is a big storm who set france so much in panik that they gave the highest weather warning. At least three people died, 800.000 households were without energy and coast regions like La Rochelle were under water, some people at our coast were climbing on the roofs of their houses were they had to be picked up with helicopters...

so, I really think I should pay more attention to the news and watch TV more regularly!!!

Is there a benefit in friendship? What is the benefit? And in which kind of friendship can we find it?

Our iman (faith) never remains on one level, it goes up and down all the time and when wver it decreses we should strive to reinforce it and when ever our iman is up we should strive to keep it up or even increase it more.
When I was a child I was thought that iman is something private, something that is just between you and Allah and that its no ones business what and to which extend you believe in.
When I found Islam I started to make more and more muslim friends who were mostly muslims by birth. I met some converts as well but they just seemed to be too strikt for my liking so that I didn't befriend them.
So, although i had many muslim friends, Islam was almost never our topic of discussion. Maybe apart from questions about my conversion, but that was the only Islam-related topic we talked about, and that also just in the beginning coz if a question is answered once, why ask again?
Since I was raised believing that religion is just between the believer and god alone I never questioned that behaviour or type of friendship, I liked them simply because I found them to be nice and that was reason enough for me to be their friend.
But is friendship really just about enjoying to be together, about passing time, not being alone and sharing some similar intrests and ideas?
More and more I got bored of having muslim friends and got more close with my non-muslim friends, I found that there was really no big difference between being with my muslim friends and being with non-muslim friends, because anyways the topics were the same, there was no different behaviour amongst them and the impact these friendships had on my heart and my iman were the same.
Some years later, actually last year, I met two girls. muslim girls, two russian sisters, both converted to Islam, living together.
At first I though we will never become friends because anyways they are much more strikt in Islam than I am and so we might not fit together anyways.
But how wrong I was! I wouldn't say we became friends, but we became somehow sisters in Islam. And allthough I saw them such a little time, just fridays at the mosque or when we went out for coffee one time their presence had an huge impact on my iman!!!
Only seeing them once a week for an hour made my iman rise, so imagine if we had become close friends? I guess that was the time I tasted the sweetness of brotherhood in Islam!
I started to compare the impact all my friendships had on my iman with the impact of those two sisters. And suddenly the friendships started to seem just shallow! Sure I have two girls that have a huge place in my heart, that are so important and very close to me, but still, our friendship doesnt help me to grow stronger in my faith.

There is a very nice article about friendship in Islam by Amr Khaled
http://amrkhaled.net/articles/articles2779.html


And a lecture by Sheikh Yasir Qadhi, it is a very long lecture, but worth to hear every single minute of it!





So that is what I wish for, true friendship, friendship that goes beyond worldly things, friendships in which we wish for our friend what we wish for our selves, friendships in which we help, encourage, strengthen and support eachother because we wish for the other that he will please Allah just as we wish for our selves to be able to please Allah. I don't want friendship just to make the time pass quicker, just to don't feel alone. I want friendship that enriches me, my heart and my faith and has the same effect on my friend, my friend that will be my sister in Islam, Inshallah.

London - architecture

My mother likes to say that my interest in culture and art is extremely limited and under developped, considering the fact the most of my pictures are those showing architecture prooves her somehow wrong I guess!
I went to the tate modern museum all alone, out of my free will and interest hehee

Actually it is right that I am not very much interested in going in museums, I think its much more interesting to watch what the people in that particular area do now, rather than what they used to do hundreds and hundreds of years ago!
I am much more interested in seeing how people behave, how they dress, what they do, how they live then watching what their ancestors used to do.
Maybe thats also why I think modern art is so much more interesting to me, and architecture.. how people live says so much about how they think and are!









This picture above, or more precisely that building above is my absolutely favorite!
For some that might be hard to believe but I dont really care.
It somehow evoces so much feelings in me and remembers me of so many things..
It reminds me of brazil, of the ghettos in my hometown and berlin and first and foremost it reminds me of Patras!!!
When i was still in school, I think i was about 15, I went with my school to greece. we came by ship and arrived greece at the harbour of Patras. I remember that I went with my friend down the streets, searching for a backery. And I also remember how ugly the streets were, everything was grey and noisy and dirty but still it was so so wonderful!!!
I also remember that in all the grey dirt there were palmtrees coming out of the asphalt and that they really made me think and somehow they must have really touched me.
When I went to brazil some months ago, the dirty gray streets of Recife reminded me again of Patras.. and now that building in London..
I really want to see those streets again, probably they will look completely different but something must be about them that they stayed in my mind all those years...

London - the hotel

I first agreed to go on that trip because of the very cheap flight and because I was told I could stay with thi Haos friend..
turns out.. not the case!
The friend didn't want me to stay with her and anyways, who wants to be with somebody that don't want to be with you???
First I was very upset, thinking about canceling the flight but after some consideration decided to still go on the trip since that was the only time I was free for travel and had sufficient financial ressources ;)

so I booked a hotel for 40€ per night which turned out to be amazing!
There was an eqyptian receptionist who made me cry the second night with his words, but thats a story I might tell on a later point..
The hotel was just by the hyde park, very central and wonderful location..


Thats the street behind the hotel which I could see from my window.. it was sooo Notthing Hill!!! and I really would love to be able to live in such an area sometime..
very sweet, cozy, calm and just really nice..




Just in front of my hotel, sussex gardens.. sooo niceeee!


And here it is, my sweet little hotel.. Lancaster Court Garden...
Since I always got back home at night and was in a hurry in the mornings theres just a night time picture of my little treasure.


In the end, taking a hotel was the best I could do on that trip!
So I could do what I wanted, when and how I wanted..
Nobody disturbing my peaceful nights!
And like so so so many times before I realised that sometimes something might happen that we feel very angry or sad about but in the end it turns out to be the best solution!
After meeting that particular girl I know I would have hated to stay with her,
so Al Hamdoulilah!!!

London - the people

In the first week of february I went to London, the flight was just 50€!!!
It was my first time UK and therefore also the first time London and I really hope it wasn't the last time that Ive had the chance to visit that inspiring city.
London was the first city Ive seen that is in my eyes really diverse and multicultural. Here in France and Germany we also have very colourful cities, but it seems that the different ethnic or religious groups stay still seperated. They live all together in one city but still represent different groups of people who stay in different areas of the city. So they are mt, ulticultural cities in which the different cultures stay seperated and the minorities have their own space.
In London I had for the first time the feeling that the different cultures and minorities are really mixed. There are still separated districts like the pakistani district or china town, but there was still the impression that they are all Londons citizens, that it is possible to be from London and still be so different that other people from London..
I don't know if what I say makes sense to anybody or if what I say is even correct, but in my eyes it makes sense and is what I have seen during that 5 days.

Also for the first time I saw hijabi women allover!
pharmacist, assistant in accesorize.. allover in every store and position (as far as I can see).
I really wish from my heart that hijabi women in Germany will be able to see the same situation in their live!

Sooo, since I have soo many pictures Ill split my London report in different posts.
And the first is dedicated to the participants of this trip.
I went with Thi Hao and Luis, our mexican fellow student joined us the first day. Later he spend the days with his other friends but we flew back all together.

If happieness is so easy to achieve, how can it seam so hard to find?

Yesterday I was very happy.
I did nothing special but still, everything I did made me so happy!
the sun was shining, I got the most wonderful birthday present from the most wonderful person, I went out, I eat something very delicious, we had a walk, I finally found coriander, i bought peppermint and flowers, i listened to music, i talked to people who i love...

Sometimes I am amazed how easily I am entirely happy, so happy that I cannot stop smiling, wanting to dance.. It are the smalles things that make me happy, a flower, a smell, a smile..
But still sometimes we seem to completely forget about these things, forget how easy it is to be happy..
So, I will try to always remind these small keys to my personal happieness to always keep happieness in my heart. Sure we will come along hardship and sadness but the things that make us happy will never fade, they will always be with us, accompany our sadness and make life more shiny.

So please ya Allah, let me never forget my happieness. Ameen

Back again.. even though I had never been gone

I am here, still and again..
the last weeks and months have been pretty busy..
I travelled a lot and had my final exams in between.
Since so much happened I should have much to talk about and Inshallah I will do so in the coming days and weeks!
There was my trip to london, a trip to paris once again, the loveliest valentines day ever and of course my birthday who turned me in a 24 year old..

I got a lot of new pictures and Ill try to put them up in a post some time soon.

I am actually happy to be back at University, feels like something new is coming to take me away. And If god willing it will be something very very wonderful!

Quran

My neighbour back in germany, Hicham, once asked me how listening to the Quran could have an impact on me, even if I could not understand the meaning of the words being said.
When I found this lecture on youtube this morning, it made me remember him and his question.
And as the lecturer says, even if you don't undertsand the meaning, the language of Q'uran touches your heart.
Even when reading Quran can make me cry like no other thing except prayer, the Quran itself seems to remain a huge challenge for me, my understanding and my patience. I try to read as often as I can but as probably many other believers, I fails too often and seem to be unable to read Quran continuously and regularly.
And even if I read, its so often so hard for me to understand, and even if I might understand the language since I read the german translation, the real meaning and wisdom of its signification remains very often unrevealed to me.
I am sure this is because the huge lack of knowledge I possess and it would be probably easier for me to understand the Quran and taste its entire beauty when I could understand arabic.
So for now, reading and first and foremost understanding the Quran seems to be my religious challenge number one. And Inshallah I will improve, my knowledge will grow and my faith increase, Ameen.

I wish that one day I will be sitting in an arabic lecture where the Quran is recited and I will be able to easily understand and comprehend every single word.

But back to the topic i initially wanted to talk about, the Quran and its impact on our hearts. There are no words I can tell, just emotions I feel.
But let me tell you one little story:
I was once invited at a birthday of my mothers friend when I met a woman who had an handicaped son, about 4 or five years old. I was sitting with them, playing with the boy who could not walk or talk. The mother had to leave for a few mnutes and asked me to watch her son while she was away and of course I agreed.
just few seconds after she had left the boy started to became nervous and I was honestly worried and didn't know what to do and how to calm him.
So I started to recite Quran for him. And I swear by Allah, the moment I started reading Quran for him, he became quiet, held my finger and looked at me, watching my lips reading Quran to him!!!




I must admitt I only watched this lecture until 36:13 and I also don't agree with some things he said, for example that when reading newspaper etc you will act like an unbeliever and such statements..
I also know from experience that on some hearts are not softened by the Quran and can make them even angry and hard..
But in the end, it is Allah who decides whom he leads to Islam and whom not.
But I really like the beginning and think that it is still a beneficial lecture with an touching topic.

Actually I don't like colourful or patterned clothing..
But this is defenitively an huge exeption!!!
love it!