I am back - back home?

Im back in France..
and some how I feel like beeing back home as well.
I thought that I had been going home when I went to germany but I guess that thought turned out to be wrong.
I felt homeless and some how I still do.
I felt like swimming in a big sea with no ground under my feet, not knowing where the next wave would take me.. unstable maybe..
Sure I had nice days with even nicer people, being with my family and friends made me taste the warmth and comfort of being loved again...
But being home? No, I didn't felt like being home.

So.. back in France I still don't feel home.
But the routine I find here, back in my appartment, back at university, gives me stability again and lets me feel the ground under my feet.

So, please notice: routine makes me feel happy..
I guess I am really very german in that point!!!

But for me, the best thing of being back in France is defenitively that i have my Abaya back which makes me feel just so comfortable and protected. And that I have my own place I belong to, even if its just for a short time, its completely mine and I am completely welcome and cared of, simply because it is me who welcomes my self and takes care of myself and I am probably the best in doing that.

Happy New Year