Does having children increases or decreases your iman?
I used to think that the fact that Allah tests us by providing us with wealth and children implies that it's the children that keep us from remembering Allah, that we think that as long as we have wealth and kids we may run the risk to underestimate our need of Allah and his continuous mercy and provision.
But I believe that now I understand what is meant, at least for me personally.
Since having children I felt like all my time to worship Allah has been taken, I remember how I would go to the mosque, attend lectures, read Quran, wake up for fajr and feel very strong in my iman...
All that before having babies.
Once the babies came all I could think of, if I found time to think, was how to get some sleep, how to run the household, what to clean next and to resent that my strong connection to Allah had been weakened.
Whenever Ramadan came I felt sad that I couldn't find time and strength to worship Allah as much and as intensely as before, even I felt that the first Ramadan after my sons birth had been completely lost as I couldn't fast at all.
But I believe that now I understand what is meant by children being a test for our iman.
Children don't take our worship away, raising children in itself is worship!
Maybe I don't read Quran as often as before, but I raise Muslims!
My worship hasn't decreased, it has changed!
I don't resent my children our my household to take my time to worship away as being with my kids and taking care of my household is one of the biggest forms of worship.
Alhamdoulilah that Allah has blessed me with my husband and my sons!
May Allah let me be successful in raising my children,
May Allah make it easy for us and let me always remember that by being there for my children I am worshipping Allah and that being there for my children is one of the biggest gifts I can give them.
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