Give for the sake of giving or for the sake of receiving gratitude

Some days ago a lady, holding a baby rang the door asking for support.

First I gave her money, as she asked for used children clothes I run to collect as many un-needed clothes, trying hard to find winter appropriate clothes. She went on to ask for diapers which I happily gave her, including wet wipes. She asked for food, making me give her some of our cheese...

The more I gave her, the happier I felt.

I felt amazing being able to help her, I wanted to give her more and more, the delight and thankfulness in her eyes made me deeply happy!

The next day I looked out of the window and couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Some of the clothes I just had given to the lady were laying now on the park wall in the rain!

My heart was racing with anger, how she could throw the things I had pulled away from me on the street?

Even tough I tried to calm myself by trying to justify her behavior, I still remained angry for a long time.

Probably they weren't the size of her children, maybe she tought someone else in need could find them and use them...

Then later a narration of a very rich man at the times of our prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, came to my mind.

The man was very rich, owning several big ships.

One day they came to him, telling him that all his ships had been destroyed.

The man remained silent for a moment and then said alhamdoulilah and continued his business.

Later they came again to him, saying that it was a mistake, the ships were all fine without any damage.

Again, the man remained silent for a moment, then said alhamdoulilah and continued his business.

So they asked the man about his reaction.

He said: first I listened to my heart if it was moved by the news and I found it unmoved.

So I said alhamdoulilah.

Then again I listened to my heart if it was moved by the news and I found it again unmoved.

So I said alhamdoulilah.

So the question is, did I give what I gave simply to give and gain Allahs pleasure for giving?

Or did I give to see the thankfulness in the ladies eyes?

And was I upset because the fact that she didn't want my clothes meant that she hadn't been thankful to me?

My auntie Hiba in La Rochelle used to say that if you try to satisfy people, you will never be successful because their needs and desires are unlimited. But only if you strive to please and satisfy Allah alone you will be successful and attain happiness and Allahs blessings and reward. Inshallah.

So instead of searching thankfulness and pleasure und the ladies eyes, I should focus on finding and gaining pleasure from Allah alone.